Why should I make a Will?

To my family
I hereby leave you all several months, possibly years, of financial hardship and expense whilst you go to unnecessary efforts to sort out the mess I leave behind.

To my spouse
I hereby leave you some (but not all) of everything I own.

To my children
I hereby leave you the remainder of my estate and give you the authority to enforce the sale of any part of it, including the family home, thus evicting your other parent, in order to realise your inheritance.

To Social Services
If my children are orphans, I give you the authority of guardianship and the power to choose who shall look after them, including the allocation of foster parents. I also give you the authority, if my spouse is in care and my children are independent, to sell my estate to pay for that care and leave my children with virtually nothing.

To the Tax Man
I hereby give you all the tax that I could have avoided and given to my family.

To the bank and my solicitor
I hereby authorise you to charge whatever you feel necessary to sort out the mess I have left behind. I realise that this may make you one of the main beneficiaries of my estate.

To my next of kin to whom I haven't spoken for ten years
I hereby leave you all my worldly possessions even though I want my long term partner to get everything.

To everyone else.
I leave you with nothing.

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